I recently wrote taglines for Pawnee businesses, which included Tom Haverford’s Snake Lounge, Tom’s Bistro and Rent-a-Swag.
But Tom had several business ideas that didn’t get off the ground (which you’d expect from a jet that’s been turned into a wheel-less apartment block). His entrepreneurial concepts may not have been tried, tested or even legal, but they certainly delighted, intrigued and bewildered. In my opinion they’re all worthy of their own humble taglines. Hope you enjoy them.
Tom’s idea: “Make a baby tuxedo clothing line”
Tagline: Less diaper. More dope.
Tom’s idea: “Talking tissues. Every time you pull one out, you get a message to hype you up.”
Tagline: Blow your mind
Tom’s idea: “The wine and cheese club. It’s a monthly gathering where we all get together and vent about what annoys us about work.”
Tagline: Cheesed off? Whine about it.
Tom’s idea: Glitter in butter. Disco Dairy: Spread the party.
Tagline: For that inner sparkle
Tom’s idea: “Invent a phone that smells good”
Tagline: Coz all your conversations are nosey
Tom’s idea: “Contact lenses that display text messages”
Tagline: Stop watching where you’re going. Die informed.
Tom’s idea: “Buy a Gulfstream G4 jet. Take the wheels off. Turn the jet into an apartment building. People could live in their own private jet.”
Tagline: High rise living that’ll keep you grounded
Tom’s idea: “Gourmet alcoholic yogurt”
Tagline: Kahlua gets cultured
Tom’s idea: New cologne, Tommy Fresh
Tagline: Stench in a spray (Well, that’s what Dennis Feinstein thinks!)
In a world designed by Tom Haverford we’d all be chauffeured around in motorized chandeliers, eating salt-reduced diamonds and burying our loved ones in biodegradable disco balls. Ahhh, long live Tom Haverford and his sparkling, nutty, crazy business ideas!
Have you created some of your own taglines for Tom Haverford’s crazy businesses? Or want to request one for a Haverford business or brand I’ve left out? Come and join me over on Facebook.
Pssssst! As you know, if you have a blog, brand, business or personal profile, you need a tagline. Want to write one yourself? Sign up for my newsletter so you can receive this mini eBook: 3 Business Slogans that suck (and how to make sure yours doesn’t). Or, I can write one for you, just as I did for this award-winning Hollywood stunt woman and all these businesses. Thanks for reading, you rock! ~ Lucinda 🙂
